Being Ordinary with Barbie

Who would’ve thought that a live-action Barbie movie is gonna talk about a self-existential crisis? Well, it is. And it’s fucking beautiful.

I remember watching Barbie movies from The Nutcracker, Rapunzel, Swan Lake, and Princess and the Pauper as a kid. I always loved it. How there’s always this amazing Barbie who’s a princess and also ordinary Barbie who’s telling that story to her sister or kid.

Greta Gerwig really put all those “ordinary” things women have to live through every single day. From the moment Barbie set foot into the real world when she’s wearing these beautiful one-piece tights, rollerblading along Venice Beach, feeling self-conscious about herself.

While Ken, just considered it as a positive reaction. “They just admiring you.” “You should be grateful, it means you’re beautiful.” Ever heard such things come from your male friend? Men, sometimes, just never realize, or even refuse to acknowledge, the priviledge they have for just being born as a male.

While what Barbie feel, I really know it. I guess you must know, how much anxiety we, girls, experience to be able to feel comfortable enough to be wearing an outfit that’s considered “too sexy” for the public. I don’t even remember how many times I feel self-conscious, like Barbie, when I want to wear something a little bit sexy. I know I don’t have the “standard” body. Or even a beautiful face. I was so afraid of being stared by men and sometimes other women, that I decided not to wear what I wanted.

But when we choose to wear something more “decent”, it didn’t really make us free from all those stares men gave. Like what Barbie experienced in the police station when she did already wear the pink cowboy jumpsuit, and the male police explicitly said, that she looked better with more clothes on. Yup, wearing lots of clothes and wearing almost none, it’s the same for women.

But the highlight of it all is when Gloria (America Ferrera) had this monologue about how hard it is to be a woman. And she and Gereta’s script did a really good job making me cry the whole time.

Well, it is so hard to be a woman. We essentially have to be everything. We have to be thin, but not too thin. Have to be pretty, but not to pretty. Have to be smart, but not smarter than our husband. Have to be independent, but not too much that it will hurt men’s ego.

And don’t get me started about the beauty standard we have to face everyday that we’re so afraid getting old because that means we’re not beautiful anymore.

But thankfully, Greta gave us one of the best scene in the movie. Where Barbie sat with an old lady in the bus stop. Never seen an old lady before in her life, she said ‘You are so beautiful’ to her wholehartedly. What a delicate yet strong scene.

Seeing a doll having an existential crisis. Wondering who or what she really is when she no longer fits into the stereotypical Barbie standard really resonance with me.

All my life, I was told that I’m brilliant and will do great things in life. And I believed that with my whole heart. That I will achieve great things. But the more life goes on, the more I realized, I think I’m not gonna be somebody important or even extraordinary. And it frightened me alot.

But seeing Barbie accept that she’s not gonna be the stereotypical Barbie again, makes me realize that it’s okay.

That it’s okay not to be perfect. It’s okay not to be a doctor (which is my dream as a kid), someone with a high degree, to be a president, to be a scientist, to be extraordinary. It’s okay to just be ordinary. You still gonna find your place in the world. Like Barbie did, when she chose her own destiny. I love it.

Yet, a lot of men still have these misconceptions about Barbie. You’ve seen a lot of movie review by men that this movie is anti-men, haven’t you? Well it’s not anti-men.

They don’t hate men. Men (Kens) are not the villain here. It’s patriarchy. They even showed how patriarchy make men miserable too.

By demanding men to be strong, cool, powerful, smart, the best at everything. That sometimes it make them unable to have emotions. You saw the scene where Barbie apologizing to Ken, and consoling him at the end, right?

Thank you Greta, Margot, America, and all the women in Barbie. For making a movie from women, by women, and for women.

While it’s not easy, I think I’m gonna start seeing myself as a beautiful woman from now on. Even when I got all the wrinkles in the world. And I certainly gonna try to feel okay just being ordinary. It’s enough.